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Straw Skimmer Hat

Straw Skimmer Hat
Straw Skimmer Hat
Buy New€6.99
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  • This product has restrictions that limit the countries that we can ship to. Details
    Shipping Destination Restrictions This product has restrictions that limit the countries that we can ship to. This product cannot be shipped to Australia
Product Description
Description

Look, if you’re going to run away from home to become the captain of a riverboat casino, we’re not going to try and stop you! Sure…it sounds like kind of a weird dream, to want to spend the rest of your life on a riverboat…didn’t those used to sink all the time, killing everyone on board? And we gotta ask you…do you know

how dirty the Mississippi River is? Don’t get us wrong, it’s a beautiful trip down that ribbon of water, but spending all of your time on it…you can’t even swim in it, did you know that? Or you can, but you shouldn’t. And especially not when you get even further down, because, y’know…the river carries all that pollution with it.

What’s our point? Well, it just seems like being on a riverboat casino would put you in direct interaction with some shady characters - you know, people who like to gamble away all their money and then the money of other people, NBD - and if they weren’t happy about something…sorry, we’re just making some of the more obvious connections here! But if you’re sticking to this plan, then again…we’re not going to stop you! But we are going to advise that you bring this Straw Skimmer Hat with you. It will help protect your from the sun and give you that proper "I spend a lot of time traveling down the Mississippi River" look. Also, it will make it easier for the authorities to spot just where you fell into the water if someone tries to drown you. Happy river boating!

  • 11.5" diameter
  • Polyester fiber and polyurethane foam construction
  • Approximately 22" inner circumference
  • Fits medium to small heads
Items Included
  • Hat
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